If I were homeless, I wouldn't have a curfew.

Posted by Kyle Jacobson , Monday, July 12, 2010 4:03 PM

I wish my life was a hypothetical situation. When speaking of hypothetics we can include just about anything into something that isn't really a something, but more of a nothing. Do you get what I'm saying? In my "hypothetical" (are the quotation marks necessary? I don't know) life I would go and talk to the homeless guy sitting next to me entering into thousands of sweepstakes offers. He still hasn't completed a single one, however. He can never get past the "address" box. Maybe he'll figure it out one day. In my hypothetical life, his name would be Bubba. I would casually stroll in one day and make a friendly jest about weight and
possibly high fructose corn syrup. He would laugh, slap me a five, pound it, then throw on his ray-bans. In my hypothetical life, he wouldn't be homeless, just undercover. He would be a respectable homeowner disguised as a homeless man, no one would see it coming. In my hypothetical life we wouldn't need to sleep, we would only need to dream. In my hypothetical life I would be 9' 7" and have razor sharp claws that can tear through campbells chicken noodle soup cans in a single flick of the wrist. Possibilities. I could go on, but I don't want to take ALL of the fun away from hypothesizing. I do have a final question. If I lived a hypothetical life, would I waste time with my friends thinking up "realistic" situations?
                                       Maniacally,
                                                          Kyle

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