War is to peace, as Mac is to cheese.

Posted by Kyle Jacobson , Monday, June 7, 2010 11:33 PM

I am in a coma. It's like watching re-runs of infomercials except without the stale cheese-nips. This coma isn't your average "I didn't that he was serious about hitting me with the bat" kind of comas. It's the "I'm looking through a window and can't see outside" kind. No one bothered to tell me that it wasn't actually a window either. If I were to actually find a window, I could probably make an accurate judgement if it was greener on the other side or not. Little did I actually know that we live dangerously close to a factory of toxic waste.* So any side would be greener than ours. Which also explains the inability for my tulips to sprout. Before I forget, if anyone is interested in finding a job, this factory has new positions available every three hours. The certain coma in which I am in, is that I cannot see my future as clearly as I might like. There are three ways I could go with this, 1. ride the ride, feel the excitement, go into the unknown (as of thirteen minutes ago, this is now known). But, how well did that work out for Amelia Earheart. She's dead. Or 2. I could write a list of all of the things that I want to accomplish in the next few years and get working on them. Or the seemingly always more popular 3rd option: translate the very first copy of "War and Peace" into fleece.

*The mission statement of our facility, "Our objective is to not only give the world what it is asking for, but to make it one day into a history pop-quiz that everyone will get wrong anyway. We do not restrict those looking for superpowers. We are here to revolutionize the toxic waste industry and hopefully one day have an actual selling of radioactive products license. 

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